Sabri Header1 Sabri Hakim: "law awareeky thahry la itkhafy"

Sunday, January 01, 2006

"law awareeky thahry la itkhafy"

"I hate Fridays, he is home now, and the house still smells of yesterday's liquor, the one spilt on floor. Lord how my back hurts. I don’t want to get up, I've peed my self."

These might very well be the thoughts of 3rd grade Hanin. She lives in Jabal Al Natheef. I was at Hanin's school taking pictures, when her mother heard of our presence she sent after us, (a documentary film crew) saying she had a story and wanted to share. We arrived to a few cement layers on top of another forming what they call home. Her mother, an illiterate 26 year old female, as she put it, spoke of how her husband owns a "Basta" and how she manages to run the house with the 1 JD per day she gets from him. She then spoke of the abuse she had witnessed from her husband and how he beats her and her three kids. A crew member suggested that she called a family help line, some child's protection agency, she says that she did and they came took the children away for 3 months and hysteria this subjected her to. She goes on saying that she couldn’t live alone with him, he was always drunk and abusive, so she called the agency again, saying that her husband has improved and stopped drinking and abusing her. The kids were returned to her, when asked "Is he still abusive?" she replies:

"lisa imbare7 makleenha, la awareeky thahry la itkafy, ou thaher il binit kolo im3alem min il mayeh il magleyeh":
((she still gets beaten, if her back was revealed we would see violent bruises, and then she says if we look at her daughters back we would see the remains of the boiling water he pours over her when she misbehaves))

Bare in mind this, she, Hanin, is a 3rd grader, she plays and makes noises when he (the father) is asleep, he gets up, beats her, then goes into the kitchen to boil water, to then place over her. How bad can it feel to see that your father is going to place boiling water on you after lashing you and wait there for 15 min in between.

Note: I've place the photos, after she, the mother, asks that the video the crew captured be shown to others.

This is their living room

This is their kitchen

This is Hanin's Mother

This is Hanin


Anonymous Noura said...

Read this post another time and another and another. Whether you wish to compare it to your life and be grateful or read it for the life that it is, is completely up to you. But sustain the reality of it, for it does not get any more real than This.

This may sound cliché but,
This post broke my heart.

Sabri, you are keeping us clear on what is real. And for that I am, unfortunately, grateful.

Praying a brighter reality would come to exist.

January 01, 2006 12:09 PM  
Anonymous hassan zraigat said...

doesn't that woman have brothers who would beat the crap out of her husband?

January 01, 2006 12:27 PM  
Anonymous Rawi said...

Very Touching Sabri! I couldn’t bear this harm while those people living in this suffer day after day! It’s a cruel world we’re living in!! what kind of Brutality drove this man into ? is it poverty? Or it’s mental corruption? And those kids….dose it really their fate to see the dark side of the world from the beginning? Couldn’t they get the least available chance of happiness? Couldn’t they get a smile? A warm hug from their father rather than a boiled water?!!! Isn’t the less life fortune enough for them to handle?!
You’re holding a massage Sabri, and we’re all putting our hands with you!!
God Bless

January 01, 2006 12:29 PM  
Anonymous SugarCubes said...


January 01, 2006 2:57 PM  
Anonymous kinzi said...

who in the family is bailing this guy out of jail?

I'm sure there is more help for this lady! Very brave of her to talk to you Sabri, and it is great that you are willing to tackle these issues.

I'm praying for Hanin.

January 01, 2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger Tololy said...

I am speechless.

January 01, 2006 4:17 PM  
Blogger Dar said...

what makes the husband make all of that , is he psycho or something ?!!

January 01, 2006 5:31 PM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

I think I remember hearing that there was a shelter (charity home) opening up in Jordan where women in her situation can go with their children to be safe from men like this and live until they get back on their feet. Do any of you know about one?

These children do not deserve to live like this. This woman seems to be pleading for help. We can't do nothing.

January 01, 2006 5:49 PM  
Blogger lulu said...

I feel a big knot in my throat and chest.

January 01, 2006 6:09 PM  
Anonymous Abdelstar alslimat said...

It is so hard when you cant have someone to help!!!

January 01, 2006 7:06 PM  
Anonymous ahmad Humeid said...


Thank you for sharing this powerfull story. I hope someone follows up on this case.

The domestic violence in this case is bad enough. Add this level of poverty and you have a tragic situation. While cases like these need to be followed up by the social workers of the ministry of social development (i wonders how active the ministry really is in that area) the local mosque and community have a role to play here too.

This underscores the need to adopt policies that channel economic growth to the widest possible sector of society, and the presence of a safety net for such people.

We always need to remind ourselves that having two parallel societies in Jordan is simply not a good idea.

January 01, 2006 7:42 PM  
Blogger ghaloosh said...

and we say we have issues in our life !!!!!!

January 01, 2006 10:29 PM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Unfortunately, this not only happens to Hanin nor in Jordan, there’re still lot of people raised with this wrong concept of a “family”, and this is sad ‘cause then it turns into a never-ending circle… But we must shout nevermore, it’s up to us to change our very own world… Sabri, you’re doing a great job showing us where we are, both sides!

January 02, 2006 12:52 AM  
Anonymous kinzi said...

Abdelstar made me think...this IS someone we can help. Sabri knows where she lives.

Sabri, the big Eid is coming; could you enlist us in getting clothes for the kids, making sure they have a pantry full of food, you guys act as 'brothers' to put the fear of God into that husband. I can contact JRF to make sure this wife doesn't fall through the cracks again.

Serious, this is something we can do. We can't change society all at once, but we can give Hanin hope that there is a world that cares.

If we don't do something, knowing we can, we would be the poorer.

January 02, 2006 8:01 AM  
Blogger salam said...

What can I say?I am shocked,not that I don't know that such beasts exist,but maybe we are not used to facing them this close,and Sabri,you were there,you saw first hand ,if the knot in my stomach is this big then how were you feeling then?My prayers go to hanin,her famiy and everyone who is abused.But Sabri,please report him to someone who can do something real about it.And may God give you strength to serve him,and help others.

January 02, 2006 9:51 AM  
Blogger Sabri Hakim said...

Im glad this touched many people. Hanin is a beautiful child and doesnt deserve this.

Kinzi's thought is great, we can do something about this, we can get cloth and food for her family on eid. she, the mother complained about not having the money to get cloth for the kids on eid. I'd go there again and get the gift to her, even welcome company along the way.

January 02, 2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger M!R@CHK@ said...

Oh MY GOD may God help them and thx God for what we have :(

January 02, 2006 5:16 PM  
Blogger Roba said...

Sabri, let me know if I can drop off clothes or money for this family.

January 02, 2006 10:39 PM  
Anonymous noor said...

and still, there's even worse...

I remember being into more worse places during the holy month of Ramadan, it really got into me for days...

but it's nice of you mano, nice of you to bring such issues to the people, god bless ya :)

January 02, 2006 11:02 PM  
Blogger Tutti said...

What do these words mean law awareeky thahry la itkhafy" ???

Every place there are tragidy histories. Last week, at city where i live, the husband killed the son(student) and her wife. He is evangelic and was beliving surely that time, when he did it, he was killing the devil.
Don´t know if miss relion, money or wear?
Isn´t it. Maybe one human conscience, or science conscience.
There is here Women delegateship, but this case, there isn´t solution anymore.

January 03, 2006 2:41 AM  
Anonymous kinzi said...

Sabri, good on ya!

Would you do another post to invite others back who may not be continuing this thread? You could let us know how to get food, money and toys to you and when you would go back.

Hanin needs a model of good men, and you will be providing it...maybe even reversing her destiny of choosing an abuser as well.

January 03, 2006 12:13 PM  
Anonymous wedad said...

I used to work in a place called (heart of mercy) it’s a voluntary work, and we used to go and visit these families and every year doing like 4 or 5 camps in a place belong to my church for 5 or 4 days depends on their ages, and iam telling you that its not the money who gave him happiness or if they change the place or change their father, I saw the happiness in their eyes when I carry or hold someone between my arms or put another on my back or even just telling them good morning or I love you, they feel like they own the whole world, believe me :) and tell now most of the children there have my number and they called many times just to say hi we miss you, really it’s a great feeling

January 05, 2006 1:01 PM  

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